“Caution: Please Keep Your Distance”
You’ve probably seen that sign many times before. It was made to keep yourself from being hurt. I didn’t know how much I took that caution to heart.
For these past six years, I could easily count the friends I have made. I could easily differentiate them from acquaintances who might be talking about me behind my back. I think that it is one of the right moves I made when I entered college life. It took me one semester to actually hang out with my classmates and some several months after that when I could find their jokes funny. It wasn’t easy for me to blend in with new people as I have always known that I always talk without consideration for anyone’s feelings. The people I was with were used to it because it was how I was honestly blunt. College was different. I had to face different people who may judge me differently than my other friends.
I have learned to keep words to myself, to keep laughter and shallow criticisms to myself. I have let out fake laughs and funny thoughts were reduced to simple smiles, sneers and puffy cheeks. It was deceiving at some point but it proved to be a catalyst to my emotional self. I don’t know if I could handle myself if I knew that the people I consider my friends would talk behind my back and say mean things about you. Being that kind of person and being cautious to people I barely know saved me from another yet emotional breakdown or worse, depression.
As I look back at the back-biting revelation to me just a few weeks back, I could feel no bitterness nor a vendetta against those people who have been saying oh-not-so-good things about me. I have completely forgotten the disgust I felt for them for being obnoxious and self righteous people. I pity them because they have made wrong friends. Don’t they know about the Golden Rule? Whatever happens to them are only results of their own actions. I only hope that they still have friends like mine; friends who would stick to them like they were bound to me by the unbreakable vow. The hurt I felt was just an initial surge but it gradually subsided. It’s what I have prepared for.
I keep my distance because I want to be safe. It may sound selfish but I am always willing to take the risk when it’s all worth the fall.